Thursday, April 24, 2014

Things You Should Never Say To a Woman Buying a Pregnancy Test

I’m back! I know I mentioned in my last post that I would share what made my pregnancy test purchase outing such a disaster. I went to our local Dollar Store, it was the closest store to my house and like I said, I am impatient.  That was probably my mistake to assume that I would get respectable customer service at the dollar store. . . Also, apparently pregnancy tests are stolen quite a bit as they keep a cardboard cutout that you have to take to the register to get the actual tests. Weird! These are not the digital tests that are really expensive. These are like 5 dollars for 2 tests, pretty cheap where pregnancy tests are concerned. So after walking around the store and making sure no one else was checking out at the time, I finally took the cutouts to the register. The lady checking me out looked to be about 60 years old and may have been on drugs at some point in her life. Not judging, just stating the facts based on her voice and appearance. Upon entering the checkout line the following conversation occurred:


DS Clerk: “Uh oh, is this an accident?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

DS Clerk: “You had the same idea as a lady who just left. She bought two tests.”

Me: *Blank Stare*

DS Clerk: “So, was this planned?”

Me: “Well it wasn’t unplanned, but still scary.”

DS Clerk: “Well I would NOT be bringing a baby into this world. There is too much evil.”

DS Clerk: “Thank goodness I had my babies when I did.”


As if buying pregnancy tests aren’t scary enough, it only makes it worse when you’re verbally accosted because you may or may not be pregnant! Maybe my hormones were a bit out of whack, but I do NOT want to be one of those overly sensitive girls who cry when anyone says the word baby. Get ahold of yourself people! I decided that the lady was just dumb, simple as that, or high, that is also an option. Moral of the story – DON’T SAY A WORD WHEN A WOMAN IS BUYING A PREGNANCY TEST- a simple how are you, and thank you will suffice!

Have a great day!

It Just Got Real, Y’all!

Milo is going to be a big brother.

I’m freaking out a bit!

This post won’t see the light of day for a while, but I have to write this down or 1. I’ll forget and 2. I’ll forget.
I’m sure you all knew about my 30 year “agreement” with Jake. When we got married at 21, I asked him to give me until I was 30 until we started having kids. He disagreed and said BY 30, toh-mot-toes, tomat-toes.

We have had multiple friends who had trouble conceiving and we did not know how long it would take us to conceive. It could take 6 months or a year or even longer. We honestly were worried that something might be wrong with one or either of us as we had not been on any BC for almost 4 years. That is a long time to be protection free and no pregnancy scares. Go Me! So in November we decided that we could give it the “ole college try” in December. That would give us a fall baby. Why a fall baby? Well the weather isn’t too hot or too cold and you can have a summer style birthday party or a fall birthday party! Is it weird that I would plan a baby around birthday parties? No, it isn’t, moving on.

I’m really regular so we knew when the “magic” should happen. Well the “magic” did happen and apparently there is nothing wrong with us. I was a bit OCD on taking pregnancy tests and let me tell you, they are EXPENSIVE! Seriously, for something you pee on it is a bit ridiculous. I started taking them like 8 days after conception. I’m an idiot, but sooo impatient. You all know that I do NOT like surprises. I want to know asap. Well they all said negative, but after reading a million inserts they all said that it might be too early. Most tests don’t show a positive until like 4 days before your expected period. So we waited and waited. Finally on day 4 before my expected period I took another. Only about 56% of tests will show a positive, but like I said, I’m impatient. Well it was a faint positive or so I thought. Jake said it was not so we were still unsure. I thought I only had the same brand as my back ups (I had already taken 5) so I had to wait until I had more tests and I was not in a hurry to go buy more after the last incident. That will be my next post. Just wait for it.  That is scary stuff! I felt like a teenager who was trying to sneak around from my mother! It was mortifying! So I had ordered some from Amazon and we decided we should wait until they are delivered. The next day I looked in my “pregnancy test” stash and found a different brand. This one would deliver two pink lines if positive instead of a purple plus sign. Again it was faintly positive. I sent the picture to Jake and he said, “So no?”. Maybe we should get his eyes checked. I told him I would go buy a digital test so this questioning would be solved once & for all. I went to Walgreens and bought another 7 tests, (told ya I was a bit OCD). I took it as soon as I got home and it said Positive . . .

So here we are, the girl who has been anti-baby, is now pregnant. Oh Heavens! I’m terrified. Stay tuned, I’ll updated as I’m probed and prodded. . .