Thursday, December 6, 2012

Surviving the Holidays

Hello fabulous readers! I’m sure you were all worried that I had been kidnapped or taken hostage, but worry no more, I’m alive!! It just seems that this has been a CRAZY busy year. I am a bit shocked that is already December. There are officially less than 20 shopping days until Christmas! I hope you’re all doing better at shopping than I am. I have been a bit Grinch-y this year. It just gets overwhelming with fighting the crowds, wrapping all the gifts, attending multiple parties, cooking an obscene amount of desserts and traveling. I’m ok with the dessert and wrapping part, but the other three require me to be social and I think you all know how I feel about that! Alas, I regress; the purpose of this post is to give you all some “helpful” tips to help you all survive the holidays.

1.      There will be an unbelievable amount of unhealthy, but delicious, delicious food this holiday season. There will be cakes, cookies, fudge, cupcakes, snacks and candy available all DAY and NIGHT during the holidays. If you have been working hard over the year to get fit or to just drop a few pounds I would suggest investing in an Aqua Zinger.
An Aqua what? Stay with me here! Most people (Me included) do not drink enough water. Did you know that you should drink 3 liters (13 cups) for men and 2.2 liters (9 cups) for women?! 9 cups of water?? Holy Moly that is a lot of water. Water not only keeps you hydrated, but also helps you feel full. Sometimes we misread our body’s signal for thirst as hunger and we end up overeating. With the Aqua Zinger you have delicious water with a fruity kick to hold you over until dinnertime. I personally own this and I absolutely LOVE it. The Aqua Zinger is a water bottle with a fruit component on the bottom. You add fresh fruit to the base and screw on the bottle. The base macerates the fruit so it leaves you with delicious fruit flavor, but the filter won’t let the pulp into the water bottle. I use mine every single day. The directions say that it will fruitify 2 bottles, but I use it all day without changing the fruit and it still tastes great.
If you are not worried about your waistline, but you’d rather just enjoy the holidays and make dropping the holiday pounds a New Year’s resolution well then you’ll receive no judgment from me! To be honest, I will not be able to turn down the delectable holiday smorgasbord. I will eat more dessert in the month of December than I do all year LONG. If you’re in this boat with me you should check out my Pinterest boards for some AMAZING recipes. Last year I made the Chocolate Mousse Cheesecake, OMG it was fantastic!

2.      If you’re like me, you’ll have to attend about 37 Holiday parties. Please do not think that I don’t want to spend time with my FAVORITE people, because I totally do. What I don’t want to do is attend 35 other Holiday parties with people I don’t really know chatting about things I don’t really like. I’m awful, I know! Unfortunately, most people do not share my love for all things book related. When I tell most people that I was legitimately sad when the Harry Potter series ended and that I form (totally illogical) attachments to all the characters in my favorite books (Jace Lightwood, I’m talking to you!), they all give a confused look before turning away. If you find yourself having to attend a party that you are less than excited about, I suggest you invest in a flask. Not just ANY flask, a moustache flask.
You may be thinking, “Lenzie, you can’t get hammered at every party you are forced to attend.” And I completely agree with that, but a bit of eggnog can turn any mood around. Maybe just a few sips, plus if you’re drinking out of a moustache flask it makes it totally acceptable to be buzzed by 10:00 AM.  *If you have an Alcohol problem please do not follow this tip. I suggest you seek medical, physical, mental or whatever kind of help that you need*

3.      If you’re not a drinker there are other options to brighten any day. I know I mentioned that I am obsessed with glitter. Seriously, I think I might need an intervention. I want everything to be coated in a thin sheen of beautiful glitter. Please note that I am NOT a stripper nor have I ever worked at Hooter’s so my love for glitter is pure of heart. In fact, if you’ve ever seen me dance you’d know that I could never be a “professional dancer”. Glitter just seems to brighten any day, but if you’ve ever worked with glitter you know that it just gets everywhere. I usually spill the bottle, get it in my eye, accidently mod podge it to floor or counter or my skin. What if there was a way to contain this magical substance for single use happiness?! Well there is a way!! I stumbled across these gems on the lovely Pinterest one day and I knew that I NEEDED to have them.  
I didn’t click on the picture as I was afraid it would send me to some awful Ke$ha fan page or something. I thought that these glitter pills looked pretty easy to make. After searching for empty capsules on the internet, which I’m sure that put me on multiple DEA watch lists, I decided that it would be easiest to separate generic Benadryl capsules and fill them with glitter. You have an instant glitter pack. Perfect for tossing in the air and making you feel so much better! You can also toss them at people to make yourself doubly happy. Who doesn’t like trouncing others with glitter?! If Glitter isn’t really your thing then maybe this next tip is for you.

4.      If you’ve decided that over eating, drinking and tossing glitter will not help then maybe you should try napping.
(Cute kitten  loves napping )

       As adults, we often overlook the powers of a nap. I love to sleep, so sleeping during the day when I should be doing other things, like working, laundry, dishes or any other trivial duty, makes you feel so refreshed! A quick power nap or a Lenzie nap (1-2 hours) is Heavenly, especially after you’ve over eaten or may have a bit of an eggnog hangover. You can also use the nap excuse to maybe skip out on some holiday get togethers that you are less than happy to attend. Simply turn off your phone, or put in on silent, and lay down for a nap about 20 minutes before the party beings. That way you’ll be sound asleep during the party and with your phone being off you’ll be unable to hear the angry calls about forgetting to bring the cranberry sauce.

All silliness aside, I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas! Please enjoy the time with your loved ones. If you have any tips or tricks that help you make it thru the holidays please send them on so that we may share with the masses. Have a great week Friends!

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Happy Halloween!!

Happy Halloween Readers! I LOVE this holiday, despite never wanting to dress up or partake in any haunted house or party. Maybe it is because it is the only time of year that Hocus Pocus comes on television or maybe it was because we NEVER had trick-or-treaters growing up. We lived off the beaten path and no one ever came to our house. I am so excited for trick-or-treaters tonight! I think we only had 15 last year. Apparently it is not as safe to trick or treat in this day and age.

I just really love to see people dressed in costumes, is that creepy? Not the gross, flesh melting, serial killer costumes, but the costumes that take effort and creativity. ANYONE can go to a store and purchase a costume, BORING! I like when kids and adults get creative. Maybe dress as something that isn’t wildly popular. We only need 1 Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift in this world. (PS Not hating on T-Swift. I LOVE her and her new album. Check it out, seriously). Also this note is for you young women, PLEASE stop wearing costumes so slutty and gross that your pikachu is showing for the entire world to see! Seriously, keep that under wraps. I thought I’d share some of my favorite Pinterest finds in case you might need some non-slutty and fun ideas.

Kid Costumes

This UP inspired costume may be the cutest thing I HAVE EVER SEEN!! We tried to get Laners to wear this, but his mother thought he might be dangerous with the walker. No Fun!!

If you have a daughter, dress her as Audrey. It doesn’t even have to be for Halloween. If I had a child, I would make her wear this ALL the time. How adorable is this??   

I love this last costume! It looks pretty easy and you’ll probably have most of the items on hand. The hat and beard could be constructed fairly cheaply and easily. I also LOVED David the Gnome when I was younger.

Shout out to the 90’s kids. Here is an episode, I’m sure you’ll love it too. It is much better than SpongeBob…

Adult Costumes

I LOVE Mary Poppins! Seriously, I love everything about her. Her British accent, her strict, but loving ways, her manners and most of all I love her duffel bag that holds tons of things (Hermione had one too!) Why not find a chimney sweep to go with you to a party?

Rock, Paper, Scissors! Haha, these girls, aside from looking like drunk sorority girls, have a great idea. It's not slutty and it's fun. Plus, who doesn’t love a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors? Everything could be decided that night by one of you hopping up to play. It would be hilarious!

50 Shades of Gray: This last costume is for the few that forgot that they had a Halloween party to attend. Stop by your local home improvement store and stock up on paint shades. The 20-somethings at the party should be drooling over you by the end of the night, not because you are a cool guy, but because they think that you may have actually read a book, which is rare for the male sex.

I hope you all have a SAFE & fabulous Halloween! 

Monday, October 22, 2012

Happy Wedding!

The Beatys were AWESOME! We loved them! Can't wait to see all the pictures!

Hello Readers! I have some great news! My precious Johanna got married this weekend! I only have a few pics (that I stole from facebook) but I wanted to share to show you all how perfect everything turned out to be. 

Love this picture of Johanna & our Dad!

She was a gorgeous bride and the weather was absolutely wonderful! We are so happy for her & Brett!

 Their first dance! 

 The wedding party

We had to sneak in a fun picture between serious poses! 

Have a great Honeymoon Johanna & Brett! 

Have a fabulous week readers!  

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

What happened to September?

Hello my lovely readers! I am sad to say that I skipped the ENTIRE month of September. September was full of WONDERFUL things for me. We had my little sister Johanna’s bridal shower followed by the second annual NYC trip. This time Jacob got to experience the city in all its glory and last, but definitely not least we went to Atlantis!! We had such a great time. Traveling for two weeks straight makes returning to work ROUGH, especially when you’re wedding planning for Oct 20th! Alas, here I am, back in the real world. . . I still have a JAM packed two weeks ahead of me, but it is the least I can do for my lovely sister. I am so happy for her & Brett. I hope their wedding will be everything they imagine it to be.

On to my “normal” blog post! I have to start getting all my FB screenshots off of my phone. I think I have like 100 of them, seriously. I would rather those pictures be of Lane and Milo. 

I don’t really have a facebook high five, but I found this particular post from an expecting mother quite funny. I know she will be a fabulous mother.

On a different note, we ended September with a fabulous Nerdy 30th birthday party for our friend and blog follower Jordan! I hope your 30th was as nerdy & as fabulous as you are! 

Favorite vacay picture. Perfect shot of Lane, mid sneeze! Haha

I want to with my precious Jacob a HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY on Thursday. He will be 25 (just like me J)! I will try to be back soon to share our October thus far, it has been filled with some happy and sad news. I hope you all have a fabulous week.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

I Don't Want to Live on This Planet Anymore!

Good morning readers! I know it has been a while since I last blogged. It has not been from a lack of posts, trust me, I feel like my facebook “friends” are taunting me to blog about them. I am honestly surprised by the amount of ignorance some people portray. The above picture describes my actual feelings about most of these people!  I think I might have to de-friend some of them because I CANNOT get over how angry they make me. I have decided to stop letting these people aggravate me so much. I think that will only help me in the long run. 

Keeping with tradition, I want to start out with a facebook High Five!

This lady knows what she is talking about. Plus that is one funny word! Haha

On to a more “famous” parenting fail. I have a confession to make, I watch Toddlers & Tiaras. Please note that I think pageants are ridiculous. They are usually a way for a narcissistic parent to raise and exploit narcissistic children. Seriously, for the most part these children will be the new face of Teen Mom, 16 & Pregnant, Lock Up, Judge Judy or something of that nature. I have only seen a handful of those children where I think that they may be well adjusted. This is not the case for this child: Honey Boo Boo. Please note that I am disturbed and disgusted that I just typed Honey Boo Boo on my blog. If you are not familiar, I urge you to watch the below YouTube. Words cannot describe my feelings on this child/mother/family. I have never wanted to drop kick a child, until I saw this girl. She is disgusting, vile, and so arrogant. I know this is from her mother, but there is no hope for this girl. I doubt she will make it past the 8th grade without getting pregnant and becoming the face of Welfare!

I hope you all have a fantastic week! I will be back soon with more Oh no facebook didn’t stories!    

Monday, July 9, 2012

Freedom of Speech, facebook style!

Hello Readers! I hope you all had a fabulous 4th of July! I was hoping this post could be a brag fest about our recent trip to Mexico; however, a bout of food poisoning spoiled that trip. Our vacation was not ruined! Instead we flew to visit our precious nephew.

 I’m sure margaritas on the beach do not compare to chasing after a toddler for 3 days!

I will just look at this Picture until November. . . 

If you are looking back on my blog you will see that I have removed a few posts per request. I wanted to explain why/how these posts came to light. Please note that this does NOT change my views on this particular person, they will just not be appearing on my blog in the near future.

If you have been keeping up with my blog you can see that my newest love is documenting facebook fails. If you haven’t been keeping up with my blog, shame on you. These facebook fails range from facebook fights to poor parenting to desperate pleas for attention. My favorite theme to blog is the people I see who are users. Users of their family, friends, government, you name it, I loathe them all. I basically have become fed up with my “friend’s” blatant disregard for our governmental assistant programs. I believe these programs are great and can provide help to families who need a push to get back on their feet. These should be temporary programs if you are not “disabled”. I use that term loosely as I currently know 6 people who claim disability from the US Government and are as able bodied as anybody. I don’t believe that these programs should be a lifetime guarantee to pop out children like rabbits and lounge at home all day without ever paying a cent to these funds. These people are a drain on our economy. What makes me so angry is that these people have a sense of entitlement that they deserve to be provided for while not paying their dues. What is happening in our current state is that we have 3 generations of welfare recipients with no desire to break the cycle. It is just getting more and more expensive for those of us who pay taxes and have jobs. What really aggravates me is when these “parents” on facebook claim that they are such good moms and they take care of their kids. I want to remind them that I and YOU take care of their children. What kind of example are these “parents” showing their children? The example that it is ok to not work hard, because the tax payers will take care of you. In fact, you can eat first class, get a FULL scholarship to a division 1 college and live expense free. Why would these people want to get jobs when we make it so easy for them not to work? What is even more frustrating is that the people I know who received a FULL scholarship to Oklahoma University (Yep, the OU Sooners, that school) dropped out after less than 1 year. Here is a FREE opportunity to better yourself and your family and what do they do? They drop out.  . . Sickening isn’t it? My middle class parents had to save up money for me to attend college. Thankfully I got a scholarship for my first two years of school. After that time, I took out student loans, which I am still paying, to pay for my college. I never once expected someone else to bear the costs of sending me to school, not even my parents. Ugh I’m so over this post. It just makes me even more upset. I’m sorry I wasted an entire post on my soap box. I’ll have a new post later this week featuring all my favorite facebook fails. Until then, have a great day! 

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Oh, Facebook! You're always good for a laugh

Hi Readers! Happy Spring! It still feels like our winter, which was unseasonably warm. No complaints here, I hate outside, but I tolerate it much better when it is in the 60-80 degree range!

I thought I would share some of my recent facebook finds. I know I have blogged about the things I’ve seen on facebook, but these are new and just as fantastic. I should be totally honest; one of these entries is from Twitter. Stupidity isn’t just limited to Facebook.

I also have to share these screen shots from our recent trip to Denver. This was the most enjoyable part of the trip. These Wi-Fi names were pretty funny.
Iron chef of pounding vag?! Tim Tebow’s Boyfriend! Haha  

I don’t think I have mentioned in my past posts that I am not a fan of the Kar-Trashians. Seriously, getting famous because you made a sex tape doesn’t really make me want to take you seriously.
Apparently Jon Hamm, from Mad Men, recently made this statement, “Whether it's Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian or whoever, stupidity is certainly celebrated, Being a f-cking idiot is a valuable commodity in this culture because you're rewarded significantly." SourceI recently caught this on Twitter and she probably doesn’t even write her own tweets, but she certainly toots her own horn about being an “intelligent business woman.” One would think that being an “intelligent business woman” you would at least know the difference between your and you’re. I guess that is not exactly the case!

If you have any Facebook Faux Pas send them my way. I’m sure there are no shortages of facebook funnies out there! I hope you all have a fabulous week! 

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Happy Valentine's Day!!

Happy Valentine’s Day Readers!

In case you haven't received a valentine today, please accept mine! Of course they are mustache themed!

I hope you all get surprises and lots of love today!
In case you forgot that today is Valentine’s Day. It is never too late to make a fun surprise or you could even order something for delivery later this week. Your love will feel even more special when they get surprises at work and no one else is getting them!

Check out some of my favorite Etsy sellers for some great ideas:
Y  The Caramel Jar has these adorable mason jars filled with caramels! Only $11 for a ½ lb! You can’t beat that! 

Y  The Fetching Hound has these adorable Hoot Owl Bitty Bites! “Whooo Loves You?” $15 for a dozen owls!

Y  Leather Made Nice (I know I haven’t mentioned them before, but they are WONDERFUL! Seriously! I have ordered from them many times and they are so helpful! ) These leather bracelets are so sweet. I have two with my favorite quotes from books. You can have them customized with anything! These have the coordinates from a special place! $30 for 2 bracelets!

Y  Stay Calm Cupcake has these adorable cupcake jars. A set of 4 for only $20! The flavors are Vanilla Cake with Pink Vanilla Buttercream and Double Fudge Cake topped with Pink Buttercream. There are 2 jars of each Plus there are fun sprinkles! Who doesn’t love sprinkles?!

Y  I also found this infinity knot ring. I love it! It is only $25.63! Plus it reminds me of Finnick. Oh Hunger Games, how I love you SO!

Well I hope I have you some great ideas in case you are a little behind on your Valentine’s Day shopping! Have a Great Day Readers! 

Friday, January 20, 2012

Valentine's Day Giveaway Winners!!

I will be posting my Valentines soon. They may or may not be mustache themed!

Hi Readers!
Well you all know that I can’t choose between some of my favorite people! So you all win! Yay!!

The Winners for the Bitty Bites are: Kenzie & Casey!
The Winners for the Valentine Caramels are: Allyson & Jordan!

Hip Hip Hooray!!
Allyson, I need your new address. Text it to me!

Have a Fabulous Weekend Readers!

Friday, January 13, 2012

Valentine's Day Giveaway!

Hi Readers!
Can you believe it is ALREADY January?! I cannot! Seriously, what happened to Oct, Nov & Dec?! It seems to go by faster & faster each year! I hope you all had a fabulous Christmas! Our Christmas was fantastic. Laney poo got to come down and we bought him all kinds of ridiculous things!

Our Beautiful cousin Haley got married the weekend before Christmas so we got to spend time with our extended family for two weekends in a row! It was great! We don’t see each other nearly enough, but when we do it is always a great time!
This is Haley & her sister Caroline, aren’t they Gorgeous. I stole this picture from Becca, I’m sure she won’t mind!

We never dress up like this so we had to document the occasion!
Jacob & I, isn’t he dapper! Haha

Sisters! Kenzie, Me & Jordan!

Look how Handsome Laner is! He will be One this month! L He is growing up so fast!

This is Laney poo on Christmas morning! He is pretty precious!

Speaking of precious Laney, did you see where he will be One?! In my normal fashion I have gone a tad bit overboard in planning his party. He loves, well loves as much as a one-year-old can love a TV show, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse! So we are having a Mickey Party! Look at all the things I’ve made for his party.
So excited!

This is his invite. Found my inspiration on
 Of course we need water bottle labels for his birthday party!
 These outfits for the cake smash & party courteously of
 I am working on this hat! Hope it turns out as cute as this one from Etsy!

I thought since I have been so absent from my blog we should have a giveaway! What better way to show my appreciation for my fabulous followers than a Valentine themed Giveaway!! So, I’m sure you’re all dying to know what you’ll be winning! One winner will receive a Custom Valentine’s Day Fleur de Sel Caramel Jar from one of my favorite shops The Caramel Jar!

 These are ridiculous delicious, true story!

And since I love you all soo much I am having a second winner! Yay! The second winner will receive an order of A Heart On for you Bitty Bites! Some of you may have won the Bitty Bites in the past and believe me, they are wonderful! And how funny is the name of the listing?! Haha, A Heart On, get it? Haha!

 Look how cute these are!!

So now for the Rules!

1.      Leave a comment below stating which of the following items you have completed. If you do all 3 things you will be entered 3 times! Ahh!
2.      You must be a follower of my blog. You just click follow on the right side of this page and enter your info, easy as pie!
3.      Log on to Facebook and like The Caramel Jar’s facebook page and tell them that I sent you!
4.      Stop by The Fetching Hound’s facebook and like them! After you like The Fetching Hound’s facebook leave a comment on their page saying Lenzie sent you.

The only requirement for this giveaway is that you must be a follower of my blog, but the more items you complete the more chances you have to win! If you complete all these you have entered yourself to win 3 times!! 3 times!! Ahhh so excited! So followers, Good Luck! The Winners will be announced Friday, January 20th! I hope you all have a fabulous weekend!