Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Failbook. . .

Hello Readers! Are you all in shock that I am posting twice in one week? I have shocked myself as well! I have a favorite website called Failbook. You should totally visit the site if you never have. It is rather hilarious. It basically takes all the funny, incorrect and ignorant posts from Facebook, Twitter and any other social media and shares them with the world. I have my own version of Failbook that comes from just my bank of facebook friends. I know I haven’t written about the gems that I have found on Facebook lately, but I have one stored and I think it is time to share it with my favorite followers! Please check out my first post on the craziness you find on facebook here.

I want to first start by sharing a few pieces of facebook etiquette.

1. Facebook should NEVER and I mean NEVER be used to announce to your baby’s daddy that you are pregnant. This is an actual occurrence and it needs to be stopped. If he doesn’t already know, maybe a phone call would be more appropriate. At least maybe then you could have adequate proof that he is full aware that he is the father in child support court. At least that is how I think it works on Teen Mom.

2. Facebook should never be used to exclaim your involvement in any type of crime. If this happens to be you, you’re in idiot, not only for committing a CRIME, but then bragging about it over such a public platform.  Check out these stories of such instances:
Moral of this story: Do NOT break the law!

3. If you or a facebook friend types like this please seek psychological attention or delete that person as soon as humanly possible.
·         It is unnecessary to type like this: “HeLlOoOoOoO FrIeNdS!!! I aM HaViN SoOoOoO MuCh FuNnNnN oN vAcAtIoN!!! WiSh U WaS HeReEeEe!!” This legitimately gives me a headache and you can be certain that I am de-friending you AsAp! Please also note that I am full aware of all spelling and grammar mistakes in that sentence!
·         Please Stop abbreviating your words. You are not saving the 1/10 of a second it takes to type the extra letter. These are not even actual abbreviations: “Gues wat?!!!! I finly gt my drivrs permit!! Woop Woop! Watch out peeps on the rode!!! Cant w8 to gt a carrrr!!!! I rlly wnt a convertable!!” This was tough for me to type! Not only because Word automatically corrects the misspelled words, but also because I had to tap into a 15 year-old girl’s brain, or lack thereof. I apologize for lowering your IQ at least 30 points for reading that example. . .
This is possibly one of my favorite facebook posts, courtesy of Failbook.

4. Users must learn the difference between a wall post and a direct message. This will save both parties embarrassment if one is mistaken for the other. A wall post is available for ALL to see. Every friend and every person you have not blocked using your privacy settings can see what is posted. A direct message on the other hand is private. It is only viewed by the sender & the recipient. Please do not make the mistake as identified in the post below:

Now let’s focus on this post breakdown.
·         This post clearly violates the direct message/wall post rule. I am assuming that they are new to FB and do not know the difference yet. They should look into that soon, like now!
·         Who says, “Stiffy”?! I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
·         Or “king kong dingalonggg” for that matter?! Is this real Life?!?
·         I am not a fan of the F word in any instance. It just sounds trashy.
·         From what little FB stalking I could do, I am gathering that this couple was married and then separated and apparently they are back together.

I feel so dirty having just read this post! I hope this will help us all make better decisions on what is acceptable to post on facebook. I hope you all have a fabulous week. I am going to pour bleach in my eyes. . . 

Monday, August 1, 2011

New York City Part 3: My name is Lenzie and I’m a Speed Walker

Hi Readers! Can you believe it is August already? When I was younger I would dread this time, because who really wants to go back to school? I would apprehensively await early August when I would have to start waking up early and sleepily get dressed to head to that dreadful institution called school. College was fractionally better as you can choose your own hours and you do not have to go everyday! Please don’t get me wrong, I completely understand that school is an absolute requirement, but it doesn’t make waking up early any easier! Now that I am older and living in “the real world”, I really could care less about August! It is still ridiculously hot outside and I could really skip hearing all the kids whine about getting back into the swing of things. If I have to work everyday, they should go to school everyday! That would make me less bitter toward children! Haha

I CANNOT believe it has been a month since we left the city that never sleeps. I miss it immensely, especially since it is SO hot here! This is my last post on the big apple and it will sum up the remainder of our trip. You see, I happen to be a speed walker or as some may call it: a native New Yorker! I tend to walk fast and with purpose. I don’t lollygag or walk aimlessly. 

Look at how tired Amber & Hanna were every single day! They called me a "Slave Driver" for most of the trip! I just wanted them to keep up the pace! Haha

When we are heading toward a destination, I am going to get us there. Unfortunately for me, my trip companions are what you would call “slow as molasses walkers!” You would assume that my long legs would be the reason behind this difference, but we are all roughly the same height. I just think some people are not crazy fast walkers.

The streets of NY must not be that scary. I mean this couple stopped in the middle for a photo op! Amber & Hanna should have been at ease!

Our very first night we were all very cautious. We would not cross a crosswalk unless we had the green light and even then we would look both ways about 10 times. It was at this point that I mentioned that I wanted to get honked at by a cab. This would be a tough feat if we followed all the rules and always crossed when we had the green light. After the first night I started pushing ahead with the crowd. I was “going with the flow of traffic” or people in this case. I would cross a crosswalk when we didn’t necessarily have the green light, but it would still be clear to walk. The majority of my trip was spent with me looking backwards trying to find Hanna & Amber.



This is Hanna & Amber at the Irish Hunger Memorial. It had a winding road leading to the top. This road was not very long, but I still ended up 2 turns ahead of them. . .

I cannot tell you how many times I would be stuck on one side of the street and Hanna & Amber would be on the opposite because they had missed the light.

This was on the way home from the Top of the Rock where I even gave them an option to take a cab. They both declined stating that it was only a few blocks away from our hotel. I then informed them that I did not want to hear another word about how much their feet hurt or how tired their legs were. I had to stop about 4 times to let them catch up!

I did end up getting honked at numerous times! In fact, I felt like a native New Yorker, crossing streets and taking names, until I remembered that Hanna & Amber were 50 yards back and I had to wait for them to catch up.

I loved, loved, LOVED that city and I cannot wait to go back. I am already planning that return trip! I think late spring would be a fabulous time to go! Christmas would also be lovely with all the lights, but it will be cold there, like really cold and being from the South, I don’t really do cold temperatures!

I am also waiting for Lou to email me her address so I can send out her bitty bites from the last contest!

I hope you all have a great week followers! Stay cool outside in this gross weather!