Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Guest Blogger: My Lovely Wife's Addiction to Online Shopping

Hello Readers! In case the title did not give away the guest blogger, it is Jacob. My precious husband. Please note that most of what he says is an exaggeration, this post included. Please note that this post was not altered in any way. All text and pictures were Jacob's. . .  Enjoy!           

Dear Pirate Karen followers, well I have been asked to be the guest blogger for the week. I am the better half of Lenzie and the one that made her a very lucky woman over 5 years ago. Well since I have been with my lovely wife for a total of 11 years there are many stories and situations that I could explore (ie: Blair witch, Mothman and many road trips through the years) but I am going to talk about my wife's wonderful obsession with online shopping and how she somehow incorrectly explains the cost of each item that she has purchased. A typical day at my house consists of brown packages sitting on the front porch with Lenzie attached to the front.
(This is a resemblance to our door on a daily basis)
With everyday resulting in receiving some sort of box, package or any other delivering device it becomes imperative that I ask Lenzie, “Why did you buy all of this stuff and how much did it all cost????”
 Here is a common conversation that we have:
Me: Lenzie, did you order something from Victoria Secrets? 
Lenzie : Yes but they had a really good sale.
Me: What did you get?
Lenzie: Just a shirt and maybe some sweatpants but I needed them I don't have a razzmatazz pair. (If you are wondering what razzmatazz is,  it is a reddish pink color) 
(Razzmatazz)
Me: How much was all of it?
Lenzie: It was only $50 (This starts a whole new conversation)
            After many years and packages I have learned that when she states an amount I must double the amount stated because somehow she always understates the amount and then declares that she really thought it was only $50.
            The one problem with online shopping is that I do not catch every package so some do sneak by, but she is caught sooner than later and always replies with, “Oh no, I have had this forever” and then my reply is, “Oh really, since last week?!” She thinks she is very sneaky, but she always gets caught. She will soon find that all websites that allow online purchasing are being disabled on her computer. 
This is one of many wonderful traits that my lovely wife portrays and if she is lucky, everyone will get to see other postings of what really makes her so SPECIAL!

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