Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Top 10 Reasons You Should Own a Fake Moustache

  1. Everyone has tried a bubble bath beard or stache at some point in their lives. Why not take the next step and get one that looks real?!
  2. Fake moustaches are less permanent than fingerstaches. Although fingerstaches are pretty bad and I may secretly want one or two. . .
  3. Who doesn’t need a handy disguise at some point? Have you ever tried to use a coupon twice in one visit? Well now you can, since you will be unrecognizable with your handy fake moustache.
  4. Roadside humor is always appreciated. Can you imagine the look on the lady’s face at the drive through window when you pull to the window with a fu Manchu and you are a girl? PRICELESS!!
  5. Although this theory has yet to be tested, but I would imagine that it would work. What police officer would give a ticket to someone with a fake stache? I am pretty sure it will spur some Super Trooper or Reno 911 comments, thus making the officer forget the reason you were pulled over in the first place. This could save you lots of money! (Side Note: I am NOT responsible if you happen to get a ticket or perhaps taken to “the big house”).
  6. Who doesn’t need a hobby? Making fake mustaches are simple and entertaining. It has to be better than watching soap operas, right??
    1. Hobby Lobby has felt that has a sticky back. Simply print a template from the internet; there are tons of sites offering free templates. Trace the design with a sharpie and cut out with a sharp pair of scissors. This can then he adhered directly to your skin or to a wooden dowel for a classier look.
    Finished Product!
  7. A fake stache will allow you to look older therefore allowing you do more “grown-up” things, for instance; Get into Rated R movies, Get off the carpet path in Vegas, Get into a bar and last, but definitely not least, be able to buy correction fluid without someone thinking you are a “huffer”.
  8. Opposite of a pick up line. When you are having a girls night out and don’t want to bothered by lame pick up lines and lame boys, just wear your fake stache and this will deter any and all compliments headed your way.
  9. Use your stache as a nice let down to your husband or boyfriend. If you are not feeling “in the mood” and your significant other wants to get frisky all you have to do is wear the stache. The thought of kissing a bearded lady should signal a gag reflex from any guy and deter any advancements. (Side Note: This excuse should not exclusively be used or its effectiveness will diminish. Rotate the ‘I Have a Headache’, the ‘I’m too Tired’ and the ‘I Just Want to Snuggle’ excuses for best results.)
  10. Great Photo Ops. Instead of a description, I will just show you how fun these are!
  11. No one knows it is me when I am driving!
    Even boys can wear them! Huh Jake?
    This is my best fran Amber. I made her this stache!
    I tried Amber's stache before I sent it to her.
    Jordan's Fu Manchu
    Jordan's Sharpie Fingerstache. (Side Note: These only look good for about 3 minutes. After that they just become a smere of purple)
    My Fingerstache. Classy!
    Jordan in her fort at work with her fake stache!


  1. What about the great reason of looking like a pirate?! Arrrr!!

  2. That should have been number 11!!