Wednesday, October 20, 2010

My Shenanigans

I should start off by saying that any and all views expressed in this blog belong solely to me or someone close to me. If you happen to not agree with my (our) views, please stop reading or move ahead to the next post. I am sorry if you are offended, but once again no one is forcing you to read this nonsense!

Hmmm, where to begin? As this is my first EVER blog post I will start at the beginning, as that may explain some of my randomness. I should probably tell my reader(s) a little something about myself, although I am sure my sisters, mom and best friend already know most of the gritty details of my life, but in the odd chance that someone else stumbles upon this page by accident here ya go! I grew up in a small town in Oklahoma. For those who are reading this blog and have never experienced Oklahoma, well you “ain’t missin’ much.” This is honestly how some people speak in this area, it gets even better when mixed with alcohol and sprinkled with NASCAR. Oklahoma happens to be a nice state, but nothing too incredible. If Oklahoma were a color it would be beige. I have no quarrel with beige; it happens to adorn most of my walls, but as a whole it can be kind of boring.

(Beige Oklahoma. . . Told Ya)

My parents have been married for over 30 years and I have two pretty amazing sisters, Kenzie & Jordan. Although most times I swear I was adopted, I have a pretty fantastic family. I am married to my “High School Sweetheart.” Haha, what a cliché, right from a Lifetime movie! I will get into these details later, as Jacob deserves his own section. (Side note: From time to time you will get to experience these amazing little nuggets of Jacob’s wit, I will call them Jacobisms. Please look forward to these as they usually brighten my day, but also question my sanity when I married him). We have 2 children, the most amazing & precious dog, Milo and a fat cat, Lilo.

             My Family at my sisters wedding. From left (mother Debbie, Sisters Jordan, Kenzie & Lenzie (Me))

                                                          Precious Milo at work with me.

        Mr. Fat Cat Lilo. He may or may not have slapped Jordan directly after this photo was taken!

Why start a blog? Well, it all started when I was telling one of my many Jacobisms to my best fran, Amber. (Side note: fran = friend but cooler). We decided that I should document all of these precious nuggets so that many could appreciate and laugh at his sometimes unexplainable humor. Not only do we feel that these Jacobisms should be shared, but also the random situations that we find ourselves in periodically. This brings us to Karen, my muse. Please see opening photo above. Karen is a pirate. I know what you must be thinking, “Oh My, Karen has a beard. There is no way Karen can be a girl.” Well Karen is very sensitive and has very active hair follicles on her face. We overlook her beard and feel saddened that she never got to experience the bubble bath beard we all know and loved as children and sometimes as adults if we have time to have a bubble bath. We first met Karen at the first annual Barbie Palooza. Barbie Palooza is a springtime party thrown for some of my closest friends. It is basically a “no boys allowed party” where we get to eat cookie cake and drink frilly pink cocktails and swim in a mini-pool. Karen was invited by Jordan. She figured that a girl pirate might appreciate a nice girl’s night out, but what Karen didn’t know is how her life would be forever altered later that night. Karen is a piñata. And I am sure you can guess why her life was ended tragically too soon. You see, Karen was stuffed with delicious candy and plastic jewels. And as many people know, you never come between a woman and her jewelry or candy for that matter.

On that fateful night Karen was decapitated with a shovel by my friend Allyson. (Side note: we had just moved into our new house and could not find anything more suitable to use as a stick). A Moment of Silence for Karen the Pirate Please. . . . . . . Karen served her purpose phenomenally, and will forever be in our hearts. Well, this is enough rambling for one post. Until the next time- Peace Out Girl Scout-

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